Play is the Work of the Child

+ two new books that celebrate that truth

In late March 2020 (you know the month) I overheard my kids playing with their stuffed animals.

The Kindergartner: "Bad news. Every watering hole is dried up. But we must never give up!"

The 8-Year-Old: "First we must rest! We haven't slept in five weeks."

The Kindergartner: "Okay, a one-hour nap — but then we move on before we lose more animals."

The play continued for hours. At one point, I overheard them talking about a group of "lost ones," assorted animals who had survived earthquakes, volcanoes and other catastrophes. A bunny doctor cared for the group. They also had an “empathist” owl (“You know, mommy, someone who makes you feel better when you are sad.”) The story finally ended with the animals embarking on a journey to find a safe new home.

The next day, they moved on to a game they called “germs,” which began with a stuffed puppy who didn’t wash her hands or cover her cough and got the rest of her friends sick. The day after that, they started an animal homeschool.

I was so relieved to see them interacting like this, making sense of their new reality through play.

Play is, by definition, fun — but kids also use imaginary play to process events in their life. After going to the doctor for shots, I would hear them play-acting “doctor.” When they started school, they often acted out recess drama with their stuffies.

As Fred Rogers so aptly noted: “Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” Maria Montessori put it even more simply, “Play is the work of the child.”

The Way of Play

Next week, an amazing new book hits the shelves: THE WAY OF PLAY by Tina Payne Bryson (co-author of the seminal The Whole-Brain Child) and play therapist Georgie Wisen-Vincent.

As they remind parents, playing doesn’t mean you have to get down on all fours and play puppies for hours at a stretch — or lose your mind to a never-ending Monopoly game. Instead, they offer playful techniques for boosting parent-child connection and supporting kids’ emotional well-being, such as using story-telling to help them problem-solve more effectively.

Because while unstructured play — like what my kids were doing during COVID — is cognitively and emotionally beneficial for children, research has also found that “specific, deliberate, playful interaction with parents is the key to their healthy emotional development and later resilience as well.”

I really love the phrase “playful interaction” as a parenting anchor. And I also really love this image from their book:

I See You Play

The week after this book comes out, I have my own small offering: the release of a new board book. “I See You Play” is available January 28 (and, like always, I adore Jane Massey’s illustrations. How did I get lucky enough to have her illustrate this series?!).

Cheers,

Deborah

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365 Days of Wonder Entries: Week 2

In preparation for the release of “Raising Awe-Seekers” in May, I’m keeping a wonder journal: One tiny entry each day about something that caught my attention, that gave me goosebumps, that brought tears to my eyes, or that made me say, “Wow.” Feel free to join me!

Day 8:

I am reading this book to my 10yo. We both wow-ed at this: "Scientists...trained a jumping spider called Kim to leap on their command. Her accuracy was astonishing: she never missed the target platform. Jumping spiders, with their eight eyes, can see a broader spectrum of colors than we can; the world looks different for them, more riotously technicolored....They are so much cleverer than we knew. It’s a thing worth knowing: that so very rarely do we discover that any living creature is simpler than we thought."

Day 9:

Listening to President Carter’s funeral, I was most touched by this reflection from his grandson, Jason Carter: "In my 49 years, I never perceived a difference between his public face and his private one. He was the same person. For me, that’s the definition of integrity."

Day 10:

The author copies of my new board book "I See You Play" just arrived -- which is always an awesome moment. But the BEST part was my son's smile when I showed him that his beloved Tigey makes a cameo appearance.

Day 11:

It's snowing. The Smithsonian just posted stills from "Snowflake Bentley" on its IG -- the man who first preserved their fractal glory. My 10yo and his friend are deconstructing chess moves in indecipherable detail while I stitch a mandala. My dad was right: We live in a mathemagical world.

Day 12:

Took the dog out to pee and remembered to look up.

Day 13:

Need a little digital forest bathing? Check out this footage from Michael George.

He writes: "This rata forest is the most stunning example of crown shyness I have ever seen... It’s found on Enderby Island, one of the most remote places on the planet....Enderby is part of the Auckland Islands and one of the rare pest-free islands where endemic species can thrive without fear of being killed by the countless invasive mammals people brought to this part of the world."

Day 14:

Eleven years ago today, my kids met for the first time. She brought her new brother a blanket that he still has on his bed. Birthdays mark the start of so many relationships. I'm hoping this one long outlasts me.