Retaining the Floor

What my kid and I talked about in hour 22 of Senator Booker's speech

When my kids got home from school yesterday, they asked if “that guy in the senate” was still talking. He was. Senator Cory Booker was entering his 20th hour.

“Wow,” they said. And then they went off their separate ways.

At the 22rd hour, my 11-year-old came in to watch with me. He is a kid who wants to know all the things, so he wanted to know the rules of a filibuster. Could the senator sit down? Could he use the bathroom? What was this about “I yield to a question while retaining the floor”?

“Can you imagine standing up and talking about something you care about for 24 hours?” I asked.

My son replied: “If you really think about it, it’s not that brave to stand up. Standing up is something everybody can do. But because we don’t see it enough, it feels brave when people do.”

Then I told him another story about standing up. A tiny memory. I lived near Newark when Cory Booker was mayor. During a serious snowstorm in 2010, he got up before dawn to shovel sidewalks alongside city workers -- finally turning in at 2am. And that reminded me of a text I got from a friend in February, after a storm here in New England: “At 6:30 this morning I heard a funny sound outside my house. I looked out the window in my neighbor was out there shoveling my walkway in driveway for me! People are good.”

“It’s About Standing Firm When You Could Sit Down”

While researching for my book “Raising Awe-Seekers,” one of the most most hopeful details I found was this: the most common source of awe is witnessing other people’s goodness. Moral virtue is inspiring. “It’s kindness and courage,” awe researcher Dacher Keltner told me. “We really have this capacity to be moved by other people.”

And when we are moved — when we feel that awe — we are more motivated to do something.

One of my favorite people to follow, Charnaie Gordon from HereWeRead, wrote this on Threads this morning:

If Cory Booker can stand for 25 hours and 5 minutes without food, without bathroom breaks, without sitting then I can absolutely make it through this work week. I can run that half marathon. I can commit to moving my body for 20 minutes a day. I can push through the excuses.

To me, his speech was a reminder that endurance isn’t just about physical stamina. It’s about conviction. It’s about showing up even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s about standing firm when you could sit down.

In his 24th hour of speaking, Booker told stories about John Lewis. Stories about courage and kindness and “good trouble.” He talked about a young white lawyer from New Jersey who watched Lewis on that bridge in Selma, Alabama in 1965. This lawyer was moved by Lewis’ courage and wondered what he could do to support the civil rights movement. So he decided to do one small thing: an hour per month of pro bono legal aid. He began to work on fair housing, exposing a real estate system that would tell a Black family that a house was sold and then, hours later, show the same home to a white family. It was this lawyer who helped Cory Booker’s parents find a home in New Jersey for their young family.

Ripple effects.

“Do Something”

Our teens and young adults often feel helpless in the face of the headlines. And helplessness feeds despair and disengagement. Noticing goodness can be emotionally protective for our kids when they encounter the darker side of humanity. Doing something to stand up for something you believe in is hope.

As Dr. Jamil Zaki, author “Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness,” told me, “Optimism is us telling our kids, don’t worry, honey, it’s going to be fine. First, we can’t guarantee that because we don’t know what the future holds. Second, it leaves our kids on the sidelines observing helplessly as they see things that might be difficult or harmful.” In contrast, hope is telling our kids, ‘“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but you can make a difference.’”

I thought of that conversation when I heard Senator Booker say this: “I’m not going to allow my inability to do everything undermine my ability to do something.”

You probably know this quote from Fred Rogers: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me: ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”

I’m always looking for helper stories to share with my kids. Because ultimately, I want them to be the helpers. I want to be a helper. As I joked with a friend recently, I hope my obituary reads, “She was ridiculously kind.” And perhaps, also, “She stood up.”

Happy April,

Deborah

P.S.

365 Days of Wonder: Week 12

“Raising Awe-Seekers: How the Science of Wonder Helps Our Kids Thrive” comes out in NEXT MONTH! Here’s my awe diary this week.

Day 85:

This poem. Oh.

Day 86:

Yesterday, I attended the Boston Globe’s Working Moms Summit. Boston Mayor Michelle Wu spoke first and brought her 2-month-old baby on stage with her. When Mira started to squirm, Mayor Wu paused to get her adjusted and then continued to answer questions while feeding her daughter.A ripple of electricity shot through the 300 working moms gathered in downtown Boston. Tears sprang to my eyes.

That single moment seemed to capture our collective strength and struggle — all of us doing the best we can to take care of our families and our jobs and our community and ourselves. I didn’t know how much I needed to see that. Care-work is a professional and personal vocation — and our full selves are so much stronger than artificial fragmentation.

Day 87:

Images of murmurations of starlings always leave me slack jawed. (Photo by sorensolkaer)

Day 88:

The dog’s reaction when I asked if he wanted to go say hi to one of the kids — who is literally just upstairs. His unrestrained joy is infectious.

Day 89:

One of my kids was perplexed upon reading this quote. “But there are so many questions!” Yes, and for me, they almost all lead back to this one.

Day 90:

My feeds are filled with DC-area friends posting cherry blossoms pics with joyful abandon.I'm just over here in chilly New England -- oohing over the occasional crocus sighting -- but I can still be delighted that pink blossoms seem to bring collective awe to a whole region.

Day 91:

Day 91: Cory Booker, hour 22 (as I type this) and still standing.