So Much Fun News!
But first, a story about an awesome piano teacher
My 10-year-old has a fabulous piano teacher. We travel an hour to get to her in Friday afternoon Boston-area traffic, but what she teaches him goes far beyond the notes.
Last Friday, they spent the entire hour-long lesson on 2 measures. When my son got in the car, he said this:
"You know why my teacher is so good? Because she picks fun songs that are too hard for me -- and then teaches me how to play the hard parts. You can't really learn if you are only doing things you already know how to do. I mean, it might be easier, but it would be MUCH less satisfying."
During my teacher training, we talked a lot about the "zone of proximal development." That's the gap between what a learner can do on their own with no help and what is too difficult even with help. In this pivotal zone, kids work on something that's doable -- with support. The teacher can then gradually decrease their support until the student can do the task independently.
In my parenting, I often think about finding the sweet spot between not OVER-helping (e.g. letting kids do things for themselves that they are perfectly capable of doing) and not UNDER-helping (e.g. leaving them to navigate a challenge they are not yet equipped to deal with effectively). As my son noted, that's not easy, but it's ultimately much more satisfying for everyone involved.
I’ve been looking for my ways to get out of my own comfort zone and stretch myself (and to show my kids that their middle-aged mom can still learn new things).
Last February, at the invitation of a friend, I signed up for a boxing class. While I am a champion walker, my athletic skills are . . . underdeveloped. But bought a pair of gloves and committed myself to weekly sessions. Mastering the six basic punches took weeks — a stretching of mind and muscle memory. But my coach, like my son’s piano teacher, pushes without overpushing. I’m in that zone of proximal development. Once I master something, I’m stretched to learn something new.
Now when I look in the mirror during class, I see strength. And that, as my son noted, is satisfying.
OH HEY OH HEY! A Run Down of Fun News
1. NEW SHOW
Carl the Collector — the new PBS KIDS show I’ve worked on for two years — debuts on November 14. I am absolutely in love with Carl and his friends, and I love the way the show spotlights the strengths of its neurodivergent characters. Watch it and let me know what you think!
2. NEW BOOK
My third board book — I See You Care — comes out on October 22! I love this review from a reader:
Deborah Farmer Kris wrote the most darling book to explain such big topics to littles. It perfectly lays out how kids need to be kind and loving to other and gives beautiful examples of how to do that. Beautiful! Every parent should have this book.
3. NEW PODCAST AND PRESENTATIONS
I loved talking with Lesley Cohen-Rubury about the power of books and read aloud for her podcast Is My Child a Monster. Catch the episode here.
The first week in November, I’ll be giving TWO talks in Massachusetts.
November 6, 2024 | 5:45 — 6:45 p.m. | The Riverbend School in Natick
Raising Confident, Capable Kids with Deborah Farmer Kris
Description: In this interactive session, we’ll talk about how to help kids from toddlers to tweens build their self-confidence and increase their capacity to handle everyday challenges. Register here
November 7, 2024 | 7-8:30 p.m. | Needham Town Hall
Emotions 101: Helping Your Child Name and Navigate Emotions
All emotions are a healthy, normal part of life, but kids can become overwhelmed by their own strong and uncomfortable feelings. Come learn a little about the science of emotion and a lot about how to help kids name, normalize, and navigate big feelings. Register here
Cheers,
Deborah
www.parenthood365.com
P.S.
If you are looking for easy Halloween-ish snacks, my 13-year-old has you covered. Look at what she created this weekend!
