The 3L Reset
Revisiting a five-minute wellness exercise
A few years ago, I taught a weekly wellness workshop to middle schoolers. As an experiment, I began each class with the same three prompts — a “3L Reset.”
Look Backward with Gratitude
Look Forward with Hope
Look Inward with Mindfulness
Recently, I stumbled across the notes I wrote about this exercise — the prompts and the research/reasoning behind them. This was all before I began my deep dive into awe and wonder, and I can now see how this practice became a stepping-stone toward that work.
Look Backward with Gratitude
The Prompt:
What are three things that have happened in the last 48 hours that you’re grateful for? Nothing is too big or too small — the more specific, the better.
The Reasoning:
I adapted this exercise from Dr. Martin Seligman’s “Three Good Things in Life” experiment, in which “participants were asked to write down three things that went well each day and their causes every night for one week.” The result? This simple intervention “increased happiness and decreased depressive symptoms for six months.”
This aligns with the broader research on gratitude. Expressing thankfulness helps us “feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve our health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.” Our brains naturally hyper-focus on what’s not going well; evolution has wired us to pay more attention to the tiger in the bushes than to the wildflowers beside it. Gratitude offers a gentle counterbalance.
Here’s what I noticed with my students: At first, some struggled to generate even one item. I encouraged them to think small — a friendly interaction, a good night’s sleep, a delicious snack. By the third week, they were adept at building their lists and increasingly willing to share these everyday joys aloud.
Look Forward with Hope
The Prompt:
Write down at least one thing that is giving you hope right now. What tiny (or not-so-tiny) something are you looking forward to?
The Reasoning:
Katie Hurley, an adolescent psychotherapist, told me she often asks kids and teens, “What are some things that give you little bits of hope right now? What would help you feel one percent better?” These “little bits of hope” can become small but meaningful steps toward forward momentum.
In her book Thrivers, Michele Borba writes that “optimistic kids view challenges and obstacles as temporary and able to be overcome, and so they are more likely to succeed.” She notes that this mindset can be taught over time — especially when kids have adults who model hopeful responses to life’s curveballs. As Borba told me, “Resilience isn’t built in the DNA or fixed — it’s the ordinary things parents do that help their kids build strength.” Like asking kids what they’re looking forward to and truly listening to their answers. We can learn so much by paying attention to what lights them up.
Look Inward with Mindfulness
The Prompt:
I changed this one up each week, sometimes showing a one-minute meditation from Calm or Headspace and sometimes just leading students in a breathing exercise (here’s a list of exercises I put together for younger kids).
The Reasoning:
Deep breathing helps the brain settle so we can work through challenges more skillfully. There’s abundant research on the benefits of teaching kids basic mindfulness tools — including improvements in cognitive control, emotional regulation, and attention. But like anything else, it takes practice. And the best time to practice mindfulness is not when you’re already in fight-or-flight mode.
While I didn’t collect quantitative data on how the 3L Reset affected students, I do remember its effect on me. As I prepared for class each week, I found myself automatically cataloging the “good things” from the past 24 hours and scanning ahead to ask, “What am I looking forward to this week?”
Invariably, the answers to both questions included my kids. Then and now, their presence makes me grateful, gives me hope, and keeps me tethered to the present.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Deborah
Deborah Farmer Kris * www.parenthood365.com
P.S.
Can I share some SUPER EXCITING news? Carl the Collector was just nominated for two Emmy’s! If you haven’t yet watched this big-hearted, beautiful show, what are you waiting for?
